Tag Archives: honest

Do You Know Where You Live?

I know where you live.
Over between confident and insecure.
Your house takes up the entire block.
Monday to Thursday,
You live in the right wing,
Relishing time to yourself,
Until alone becomes lonely,

But on Friday,
You do a cartwheel to the left wing,
Where you are a superhero,
An angel by day, fighting crime by night,
You could conquer the world.

You say hello to a stranger,
Allow someone to invade your personal space
by sipping coffee at a table next to yours,
You make a joke with the barista,
Watch the sunset through your iphone lens,
Have drinks at a crowded bar with your friends,
Lead your group to the corner booth, you on the inside.

By Sunday night, You are crawling back to your hollow abode,
energy depleted, proud of your accomplishments in the world,
You went all out, had real experiences.

By the next morning,
you are back being unassured,
wondering if the barista laughs at everyones jokes,
Was the sun really those bright colors, or was it just a filter?
Would that guy you had been eyeing,
the one with the blue eyes and smile so wide,
have approached if your heart hadn’t gone silent?

You have pride in being a strong, independent woman,
but are you strong
if you can’t control your thoughts,
if your actions are based on the weather?
Are you independent, or just alone?

I have to tell you,
it is strong to know what you can handle,
to work with where you are,
it is an accomplishment to understand recovery,
You…I am a strong, independent woman,
who knows where I live.

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No Control

This feeling isn’t new.
It’s like a skydiver has taken my heart as a parachute.
Free falling.
My heart holding on as it folds into itself,
Against the pressure of the wind and the view,
The ground growing closer,
Dots becoming shapes,
Shades of green and brown
Turning into backyards and farms.
When is the cord going to be pulled?
When is the relief going to come?
So that I know that my heart
Isn’t going to go splat on the sidewalk
Next to the promises that I made to myself.
I wear my heart on my sleeve,
Not in a romantic kind of way,
But in a truth kind of way,
In a goodness kind of way.
And yet, here I am again,
Losing the ground beneath my feet,
Air getting lost on the way to my lungs,
All because I trusted myself,
To squish down the feelings that are
Fighting a civil war in my chest.
I promised I wasn’t going to allow a person to be my trigger,
But what can I do if I gave them the bullet?

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Self Preservation 

You desend in your confidence

A hot mess in an open valley,

The pivotal pixel in any image,

The negative to my dark room.
 

You demand to command

With your hands on my hips

Keeping me in your space

So that only eyes are in focus.
 

I saw a boy I once knew

But now a jaded soul

Has replaced a smile

That was once so comforting.
 

So much has been spent

With tiny pieces of heart

Every time that boy asked

I gave away so effortlessly.
 

Senses renewed

With the feel of his lips

But the heart crumbles

With memory of its losses.
 

I’ve given what I can give

Without interrupting its beats

Just learning new melodies

To the pieces that still fit.
 

This time a man claims

For my heart in my palms

But my fingers grow around it

Saving me from harm.
 

His heart has grown

With pieces of me,

But I am only a fraction

Of who I once could be.

(I would love some feedback!)

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Harsh

You love me

But we

Are not the love

Of two

People who seek

To free

The beating, soft hearts

Of who

We will be

When time

Runs out for us

But the

Love of us

Will keep

Us alive into a

Never ending

Life of longing.

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And Yet…. A Mystery

You are the page in my diary
That I don’t want to stop writing
The story that I want to keep re-reading
The fairytale that I wake up to in the morning

 

And yet…

 

I stand cursing your name to the heavens
You’re the definition of frustration
Impossible to not drive a person crazy
Visually picture your head with darts

 

Any yet….

 

You are still a mystery.

 

~HonestLynne

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The Reveal

Before you can move on,
You have to admit what went wrong.
 
Do you know how long that took?
 
Before the guilt-ridden feelings,
Stubborn-ness and anger passed,
Allowing my mind to finally,
Believe what my heart was telling me.
 
I turned myself into someone you needed,
The rock that you could always lean on.
 I was being pushed into the ground,
Not being able to come up to breathe.

 

No longer a rock but a pebble,
Being tossed around by someone’s shoe.
 
All the sad and broken feelings,
The passive aggressive revealing,
Must seem dark,
Getting a glimpse into my heart.
 
But through the year of self imposed torture,
I knew my heart was still pure,
I still wanted to apologize,
For leaving you without your rock. 
 
I just –
Couldn’t take it any longer.

~HonestLynne

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Bliss

Early morning,

Image

everyone is sleeping

and there’s just you.

No one to bother you, interrupt your thoughts,

Or remind you of the present.

When you can just think or not think.

When you can dream or fantasize.

Time to think of your life, friends, or family.

Escape into a book, a movie, or just the silence.

My time. Bliss.

~HonestLynne

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