Tag Archives: blog diary

Follow the Signs

The sliding glass door opens.
They stop a few steps in the door.
Their eyes adjusting to the busy atmosphere.
I try to guess who is who,
They look so small, so innocent.
So many people moving in all directions,
Voices loud and unnerving,
Everyone with a purpose, a destination,
Ordered Chaos, I call it.
They begin gesturing towards maps and signs,
Looking for clarity,
This is a place of questioning,
Clouds of whys travel behind smiles of frequent flyers.
For every sun that can break through,
it helps ignore the cold that hangs at our feet.
They won’t remember my face,
Theirs will be etched in my mind,
I know what they will eventually need,
No surprise when they end up at my desk with bashful eyes,
Oh, how I hope they are that bright when they return,
I want to gather them in my arms,
but I have to tell them,
as carefree as possible,
as if it won’t change their lives,
Elevator to floor 3,
Follow the signs,
For Cancer Research.

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Too Good

I wait for you to finish your thought,
the next one and the next,
I sit, patiently,
until my spine can no longer support my back,
I wait for you to ask me a question,
anything, just something to acknowledge,
I still exist somewhere in the back of a dusty filing cabinet.

I’m tired of leaving bread crumbs,
hoping you pick up the trail of my desperate heart,
I feel stupid needing some validation.

I am quiet, I know,
but my head is always busy, see,
I need you to help me let some of the voices escape,
One bounces off another,
I forget which one is the original,
Ask me how I am,
or how work is going, or how I like my tea,
or if i’m sleeping, if my mom is doing okay,
if I need anything, if I need a break,
if I am eating, if I am here,
something to pull me out of my own head,
maybe the voice that responds will be mine.

Ask me if I know what I am doing,
I have been doing a great bit of pretending,
fake confidence till you make it, they say,
I have been faking a lot of everything lately,
but I never guessed that I could have fooled you,

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