This feeling isn’t new.
It’s like a skydiver has taken my heart as a parachute.
Free falling.
My heart holding on as it folds into itself,
Against the pressure of the wind and the view,
The ground growing closer,
Dots becoming shapes,
Shades of green and brown
Turning into backyards and farms.
When is the cord going to be pulled?
When is the relief going to come?
So that I know that my heart
Isn’t going to go splat on the sidewalk
Next to the promises that I made to myself.
I wear my heart on my sleeve,
Not in a romantic kind of way,
But in a truth kind of way,
In a goodness kind of way.
And yet, here I am again,
Losing the ground beneath my feet,
Air getting lost on the way to my lungs,
All because I trusted myself,
To squish down the feelings that are
Fighting a civil war in my chest.
I promised I wasn’t going to allow a person to be my trigger,
But what can I do if I gave them the bullet?
Tag Archives: control
No Control
Filed under Poetry
A Lost Thought
My life is a constant,
but I choose the variables.
The reactions of what life
throws in my direction,
are based on my choices
of what I decide to give
back to a world that
doesn’t know the meaning
of a slow and steady race,
but throws curve after curve,
until I lay breathing
in a corner of truth,
determining not whether
I will stand again but
rather which foot will go first,
until I stand tall enough to see
over a city of my hurdles,
that I am too strong,
to have a moment without
meaning. With no meaning,
we give up the control we
gain when we know the
weight of what we are given,
but have the knowledge to hold it
preciously in our hands, like a
feather that just might blow away.
Filed under Poetry
Blinded
Remember the sunset.
This line walks through my head.
A prayer?
A plea?
Damn, you make things so hard.
Hard to move,
Hard to see,
Everything just hard.
I’ve lost feeling,
intermittent joy,
my poetry is lifeless,
no great written epiphanies.
I sit
in a great dark room,
indian style,
hands in my lap.
Visitors don’t come and go,
food does not slide under the door,
just me and the silence,
the sunset painted on the walls.
Filed under Poetry
A New Kind of Drug
Epiphanies are rare,
but when they come
they are a rush
of fresh fall air.
Internally grateful,
it flows through my body,
relieving the knots
of worry and doubt.
A drug that I need daily,
a single thought,
the right thought,
the key to functionality.
How do I keep them flowing?
Keep my blood rushing?
How do I keep from looking down?
So, I can ride this for eternity.
Filed under Poetry
I’m here for now….
I float above the skies,
where I am untouchable.
I am finally somewhere
you have to look up to me.
You can’t escape my tears.
The more I need,
the bigger that they become,
so that you feel like drowning.
The pain comes in low rumbles,
clouding your sight of all light.
until only my image can appear,
a constant reminder.
The worst is yet to come.
When you can do nothing
but look until your eyes hurt,
flowers will grow in spite of
the wallowing bird songs.
A sign that I am all gone
except for the mark that
I finally made on your heart.
Filed under Poetry
Let’s Try This
Eleven on the dot
Words start flowing
Not a minute earlier
The lightbulb turns on
Time to come out and play
Thoughts start streaming
Try to gain some perspective
Have them go where
No woman has gone before
As if I have some control
But that is a laughable dream
When the words flow, they flow
They have the true control
So when they keep pointing me
In the same direction, I must apologize
I tried but it’s another one about you.
~HonestLynne
Filed under Poetry
An Everyday Girl's Outlet 