Monthly Archives: December 2015

Self Preservation 

You desend in your confidence

A hot mess in an open valley,

The pivotal pixel in any image,

The negative to my dark room.

You demand to command

With your hands on my hips

Keeping me in your space

So that only eyes are in focus.

I saw a boy I once knew

But now a jaded soul

Has replaced a smile

That was once so comforting.

So much has been spent

With tiny pieces of heart

Every time that boy asked

I gave away so effortlessly.

Senses renewed

With the feel of his lips

But the heart crumbles

With memory of its losses.

I’ve given what I can give

Without interrupting its beats

Just learning new melodies

To the pieces that still fit.

This time a man claims

For my heart in my palms

But my fingers grow around it

Saving me from harm.

His heart has grown

With pieces of me,

But I am only a fraction

Of who I once could be.

(I would love some feedback!)


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I don’t have any fight

left in me.

I find myself saying Yes,

my soul saying No.


I keep forcing the battle

into a MMA cage,

My heart still comes bruised,

rusty and wasted.


The only sign outside

are the half moon

dents implanted

in the palm of my hand.


I’m so tired,

Wanting to stay

in my bed tired,

my face in a pillow.


I need a release.

Something more than

shattering a wall

of disappointment.

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Sunflower of Redemption 

You are a ray of sunshine

That’s what they used to say,

Now, I’m tainted.


What used to be a golden shine,

Now is an orange tainted musk,

That flickers like an old flame.


I heard this line in a song once,

“The moon is a lie without the sun.”

Did I only shine because of society’s light?


Do I only project what I receive?

When did I become that person?

So shallow and undeserving.


I’m avoiding mirrors,

Friends and family,



I need my light,

My shining light as bright as child’s smile.

I can find my way back.


I want to feel like

A sunflower in the summer,

With no doubt of who to worship.


My unwavering focus

On a path,

To redemption.

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My flower 

After all this time
My chest tightens with joy
As I go breathless.

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