I spent my day
With an anxious heart.
I go on my day,
But with every beat,
I feel the unrest that
Lives behind my lungs,
Aching into every breath,
Seeping into my veins,
Turning my nerves into fire,
Causing the brain to malfunction.
Tag Archives: life
A Drift
I’m a nomad,
With a home,
Not far away
But long enough.
A pink pillow
The only clue
Where I lay,
Where I’m safe.
Breath of air
Feeds wandering eyes
Feet turned backwards
Heart looks forward.
I’m a nomad,
No clear direction
Birds fly east
Toward beginnings.
Only one pair
On the path
My fingers reach
Grasping at air.
A northern star
Fades at dark,
The story unclear,
But I’m here.
Filed under Poetry, Uncategorized
A Lost Thought
My life is a constant,
but I choose the variables.
The reactions of what life
throws in my direction,
are based on my choices
of what I decide to give
back to a world that
doesn’t know the meaning
of a slow and steady race,
but throws curve after curve,
until I lay breathing
in a corner of truth,
determining not whether
I will stand again but
rather which foot will go first,
until I stand tall enough to see
over a city of my hurdles,
that I am too strong,
to have a moment without
meaning. With no meaning,
we give up the control we
gain when we know the
weight of what we are given,
but have the knowledge to hold it
preciously in our hands, like a
feather that just might blow away.
Filed under Poetry
Self Preservation
You desend in your confidence
A hot mess in an open valley,
The pivotal pixel in any image,
The negative to my dark room.
You demand to command
With your hands on my hips
Keeping me in your space
So that only eyes are in focus.
I saw a boy I once knew
But now a jaded soul
Has replaced a smile
That was once so comforting.
So much has been spent
With tiny pieces of heart
Every time that boy asked
I gave away so effortlessly.
Senses renewed
With the feel of his lips
But the heart crumbles
With memory of its losses.
I’ve given what I can give
Without interrupting its beats
Just learning new melodies
To the pieces that still fit.
This time a man claims
For my heart in my palms
But my fingers grow around it
Saving me from harm.
His heart has grown
With pieces of me,
But I am only a fraction
Of who I once could be.
(I would love some feedback!)Filed under Poetry, Uncategorized
Gladiator
I don’t have any fight
left in me.
I find myself saying Yes,
my soul saying No.
I keep forcing the battle
into a MMA cage,
My heart still comes bruised,
rusty and wasted.
The only sign outside
are the half moon
dents implanted
in the palm of my hand.
I’m so tired,
Wanting to stay
in my bed tired,
my face in a pillow.
I need a release.
Something more than
shattering a wall
of disappointment.
Filed under Poetry
Sunflower of Redemption
You are a ray of sunshine
That’s what they used to say,
Now, I’m tainted.
What used to be a golden shine,
Now is an orange tainted musk,
That flickers like an old flame.
I heard this line in a song once,
“The moon is a lie without the sun.”
Did I only shine because of society’s light?
Do I only project what I receive?
When did I become that person?
So shallow and undeserving.
I’m avoiding mirrors,
Friends and family,
Ashamed.
I need my light,
My shining light as bright as child’s smile.
I can find my way back.
I want to feel like
A sunflower in the summer,
With no doubt of who to worship.
My unwavering focus
On a path,
To redemption.
Filed under Poetry
Naive
I write
so that you and I
can come alive.
In these 8 x 11 borders
we can be free
to know we can breathe.
Eyes can peer
fingers may hold us
but we don’t fuss
We are alive
taking long walks
across each lined block.
Greeting our fellow
vowels and consonants
that make our love sonnet.
Our only fault
to think we are immortal
when we are written in pencil.
Filed under Poetry, Uncategorized
I am a beginning
I am no longer new and shiny,
The gloss has worn off from wear and tear,
I sink to the bottom of the deck,
To sit among the others who are not worthy.
Betrayal, Jealousy, Anger
A few emotions that are cancer to the heart,
A dark cloud that encompasses your soul,
Leading you to feel discarded in a hole.
It’s hard to shake a feeling so strong,
A loss of one’s worth is destructive,
Although, it can take a single good thought,
A prick of a needle to deflate the balloon.
It takes some remembering,
A jolt of electricity to kick start the mind,
To rescue the heart that is badly beaten,
Pull it up from beyond and nurse it slowly.
The end is as important as the beginning,
A person’s life sets off in directions by catalysts,
Beginnings of journeys can change a person’s life,
Webs interconnect from heart to heart.
I am a catalyst.
The first domino to fall,
I started a person’s major life journey,
My part is just now over.
Filed under Poetry
Unmotivated Heart
It’s going to be dark.
I apologize.
It’s where my mind has been
For the past while.
I watched from 30,000 ft.
Cities were twinkling,
Prettier than the stars,
Blacker than a new moon.
The edges of the earth
Were smoldering,
A smoky black blending crimson.
A sight different from routine.
The sunset was long over,
But the sun was hanging on,
Stubborn and unrelenting
Not letting the day get away.
Some would say it was divine,
Beautiful or bewitching,
But I saw a war,
Of life trying to fight on.
Twinkling towns unconcerned,
Of the fire raging above them,
Only perceptible to those above,
Or those who pay attention.
The day was not ready to sleep,
To give up its purpose of the light,
Too much baggage left behind,
An undying noose that won’t fray.
It hung on longer that night,
Using its rays to burn into the horizon,
Until it was well on the other side,
Fading just before dawn.
Could my heart create colors like the sun?
An Everyday Girl's Outlet 