My heart still searches.
Nothing I write comes out right,
When I try writing about you.
You are my biggest secret, its true.
I locked you away, guarded by a knight.
My heart still searches.
I pretend memories don’t exist.
Left in the desert of my mind.
I think its easier to be blind.
It’s not safe, even for a quick tryst.
My heart still searches.
It took me 15 years to hear a story.
Knowing nothing about you was safer.
Using the future as an eraser.
You deserved more, deserved glory.
My heart still searches.
For I remember all that is possible.
The moments right before I was told,
Your watch on mom’s arm, old & gold,
Kneeling by the casket, the impossible.
My heart still searches.
You’re the secret I hold dear, for fear,
If I say too much, I won’t be able to recall,
That I’m the girl that jumped at your call,
From the swing, to greet you with cheer.
My heart still searches for your voice in my ear.