20 years later…

My heart still searches.

Nothing I write comes out right,

When I try writing about you.

You are my biggest secret, its true.

I locked you away, guarded by a knight.

My heart still searches.

I pretend memories don’t exist.

Left in the desert of my mind.

I think its easier to be blind.

It’s not safe, even for a quick tryst.

My heart still searches.

It took me 15 years to hear a story.

Knowing nothing about you was safer.

Using the future as an eraser.

You deserved more, deserved glory.

My heart still searches.

For I remember all that is possible.

The moments right before I was told,

Your watch on mom’s arm, old & gold,

Kneeling by the casket, the impossible.

My heart still searches.

You’re the secret I hold dear, for fear,

If I say too much, I won’t be able to recall,

That I’m the girl that jumped at your call,

From the swing, to greet you with cheer.

My heart still searches for your voice in my ear.