Tag Archives: journal

almost there

365 days

maybe then i can rest

maybe then i can live

but mostly
i’m just learning

how to be ok with me

so i can be ok for you
almost there.

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Naively Aware

I have forgotten the song your voice plays
How the notes are imprinted across my soul
They lay dormant
Till they can render your love.

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it takes time
to find the courage again
to sift through the evidence of your heart break
careful to not be cut from the sharp edges
the previous scars are only just fading
you hold them as if they are delicate flowers
determined to not let them cause you any more pain
you know how to protect yourself now
you have layers of security that no one can hack
you are a fortress with an army that has seen darkness
they don’t want to go back
so you banish the triggers
use the glass from your old heart to rebuild
and when it seems to be too much
you commence a purge of emotions into words
as if your soul is getting a spring cleaning
you know now that you will still be standing
after the coldest of times.


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Fitting you in

I think in words,

syllables as building blocks,

a game of tetris until

the right pieces fit.


Phrases bounce around,

turning into stanzas,

til stanzas fit stanzas,

so a poem sits right here.


You are the random bolt,

the square in my round peg,

the lost instructions,

you are my monday morning.


You sit on the tip of my tongue,

waiting to dive into my throat,

so I can give you life through,

my voice that hides in the back,


I’m missing the lego piece,

that connects you to,

my inner realm that

flows out of this pen.


You are scary.

Knowing you can disrupt

with so much calm,

something so sacredly simple.

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Coming to Terms

Heard a song today on the radio
It sang
What’s the greatest chapter in your book?
Are there pages where it hurts to look?”
I gave the thought a ponder or two
Diaries stuffed in the bottom of drawers
Keeping all those secrets moments
Making me cringe at just the thought
Now take all those cringing moments
They might stack up to the ceiling
But I have to give them thanks
If it wasn’t for all those scribbled journals
 I wouldn’t be writing this.

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The Reveal

Before you can move on,
You have to admit what went wrong.
Do you know how long that took?
Before the guilt-ridden feelings,
Stubborn-ness and anger passed,
Allowing my mind to finally,
Believe what my heart was telling me.
I turned myself into someone you needed,
The rock that you could always lean on.
 I was being pushed into the ground,
Not being able to come up to breathe.


No longer a rock but a pebble,
Being tossed around by someone’s shoe.
All the sad and broken feelings,
The passive aggressive revealing,
Must seem dark,
Getting a glimpse into my heart.
But through the year of self imposed torture,
I knew my heart was still pure,
I still wanted to apologize,
For leaving you without your rock. 
I just –
Couldn’t take it any longer.


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A Heart Cleanse

You won’t think this is about you,
Because why would you?
There is nothing in mind,
That would say you were mine.
Who knew a heart could ache,
Even after it breaks.
The past is the past,
But the feelings still last.
So I will try to be civil,
Tell my head to give a little.
For I still think about you,
For a moment or two.
I mean this in the nicest way,
I hope, my old friend,  your life will be as amazing as you say.



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